It’s beginning to look a lot like…

I hope that one day he looks back at this pic and is proud, because I know I will.

I hope that one day he looks back at this pic and is proud, because I know I will.

Waking up at 4:30 am every morning now has given me more time to think about life because my subconscious is not running out of control. To be honest, I rarely remember my dreams. It is proven that my brain has activity when I sleep, but apparently it does not want me to know what it has been doing. I feel like I should be afraid, but I digress. It is the time of year when people reflect on what they have done, what they want to do, and what they need to do to make their lives the way they have envisioned them. Let’s be truthful with one another, we mainly think of ourselves. Me typing this lets you know I am pretty darn keen on Erik. Hopefully though, for a few moments out of every day we want to help others or at least put some time in wondering how this world could be better. It is amazing what you notice when you are paying attention and actually do some self-reflection about how you affect those you interact with from day to day.

Running is my new cigarettes. I have run for many years, heck I have done the NYC marathon, 2 1/2 marathons, a couple of 10 milers, a handful of 1oKs, and a literal crapton of 5ks. Yet, this last week is the 1st time in all that time that I have truly felt like I had to run everyday. Running in the past was always something I did because it was fun and deep down I knew it was good for me, more mentally than physically. But, in the last week and 1/2 running has become a whole other beast. It is an addiction in a way that I can only describe as physical. I smoked cigarettes for 12 years of my life. Now it feels like that craving, that wanting, that need is being filled by running. How long this will last I do not know. All I can say is I hope that this addiction sticks.

If you ask me 10 years ago what I thought of holiday seasons and Christmas in particular you would get a very different answer than today. Being quite honest, I had more fun hanging with my friends than family. That has changed drastically. Meeting my wife changed everything for me. Most people that do not truly find their better half have the tendency to talk about you settling down or becoming boring. All I can say is screw that! Life is a journey and adventure and if you want the same thing everyday and never want to experience change you are the one that has settled. A new adventure, emotion, food, or tragedy is right around the corner and experiencing that is what I yearn for every moment. Being awake and seeing my son(s) walk into the room with a smile on their face(s) every morning is an emotion that I treasure and keep for the times when things get rough or are weighing me down. Sitting around enjoying my family is the thing that I crave now. Family is seriously F-ed up, but they are the ones who build the foundation to this crazy structure you see today. There are not enough words in the English language to thank them. So I say Thank You!

Oh yeah, you are probably wondering from earlier in this writing about me saying I wake up at 4:30 am. It is somewhat selfish, so bare with me. I have been waking up at 5 am to get ready for school and go to work. Most of  you can pick up your jaws. I am a morning person. In the words of  my MawMaw, “Erik we were born with thin eyelids”, hence I wake up before the sun is thinking about shining on my part of the world. Getting up early has never been a problem for me and I am actually incredibly productive before 7 or 8 am. Back to the selfishness. I have been getting up early because we have a new puppy named Nyah and I have decided that they need to be walked every morning and every night. So I have gotten into the habit of walking them about a mile in the morning and 1.5 -2 miles in the evening once the boys have gone to bed. It has gotten me out walking and has given me some time to listen to some audio books. I know that I am selfish and I thank you for thinking so also.

This was not the most insightful or entertaining post and for that I apologize. If you know me and interact with me regularly I hope that you understand that ever-evolving is something in which I take great pride. Looking for the next new experience is one of my life goals. It hurts me deeply if I stay stagnant and do not learn every time there is a chance to experience something new. Most may call me an arrogant d-bag at times, but I kindly refer to myself as a work in progress that hasn’t seen it all yet. I hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday and whether it is good or bad, know that it is life and you should relish everything that  comes your way.

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