Everyday brings about thoughts of another day , but hopefully with a better ending. I have reached a point where I want more for others than for myself. That makes me sound like I have been incredibly selfish all of my life. Well that shoe fits. What I am experiencing now is the reality that I want to achieve enough to get have my wife stay at home and raise our children. Do not get these ideas that I want to rule over my wife and have this “Mad Men” type life. My wife and I decided before we had kids that we wanted for me to go to work for a monetary reward and she would be paid in the satisfaction of being able to raise our children. I have reached a point that I no longer want to be in a classroom.
This will be short and sweet. My reality has to change and I have to make the move. Up till this point in our lives Emily has had to work and we are now at a point where we want to settle and put roots down in a place. Moving back to Birmingham was the best thing that could have happened. In every aspect besides my career it feels almost perfect.
The realization that education is a place where I have become stagnant. I want something where I am not going to be moving around every 1-2 years. My path up till this point has been one of me learning as much as possible by working in different situations. It has brought me to this point and now I want to be stable and support my family. In the reality of this world this could be the hardest thing that I ever accomplish. I must reach out and grab what I want. Providing for your family has been the goal of most people since families began. Now it is my turn to move into the role of sole provider. The next question is how do I accomplish this goal. We live in a world where anything is possible and if you believe that than anything is possible. You are your only obstacle.
Teaching has created a tough predicament for me. It has always seemed like the thing I was chosen to do, but I look more and more and see that I really will never know what I was chosen to do. My choice in life has been to put my decisions in the hands of another.
That has always put me in the right situations and now it feels that the classroom is a negative for my students. At this point it feels as if I am failing them. It has always seemed that I was helping, now the tide has turned. This seems as if it is the time to find something new in which to pursue. To say that this is a scary time is life is an understatement. I had a plan and now the map has been burned and I am standing in the woods with my gear and wondering which way to head. I will let you know where I end up.
On a much lighter note, we got together with friends and got our season tickets for the upcoming Baron’s season. For you not in the know, that would be Birmingham’s AA Chicago White Sox minor league affiliate. We ate dinner, drank some beer, and split up 70 games between 8 of us. Community is starting to form and I feel that friends are happy to make this city a great and wonderful place. We want the best for the place we inhabit and we choose to make that happen. We have taken the reigns and decided to not let the horse lead us.