I went to the doctor yesterday and got the go ahead on biking and exercising again, but talked to him about running. The conversation was initiated by me and it went something like this: me: I am going to stop running, doctor: that seems like a good idea, it does a lot of damage to your body. The constant pounding is not good for your body. me- (staring into space making the realization that I can no longer do something that has brought me sanity). I went for a ride this morning and did my 20 minutes (all that is allowed by my boss a one Mrs. Emily Sockwell Batson) and I passed about 15 runners at 5:15 am. The mack truck hit me full force, I have to stop running. Before I went on the bike ride it was something that I said, but did not truly believe. I thought, yeah right I will just get stronger and then I will start running again. That is not correct. Running is not in my future. Well technically I could run, but this 4th back surgery has allowed me to realize that maybe I need to stop. Never in my life have I made the realization that I could not do something and something that I enjoy so much. Homewood, where I live, is a community of runners. Hell, people come from the surrounding B’ham area to run in this community because it is so pretty. The finality of the situation has put a hole in my heart and a very tiny one in my soul. But, as everything else in life, all things happen for a reason. As I got home from the ride I went on a dog run and as I passed 4 runners anger welled up and I felt myself walking a little faster and determined to push harder in the things I can do to return to my fighting weight(that is figurative loose use of that term). Running used to be something that I could do to clear my mind and now I have to devote all that energy to something else and biking is going to get the brunt of the hit. We will see in a couple of months when schools starts and the 12-15 hour days of coaching start again, but I feel for sanity sake I need to get out on two wheels and ride. More for my wife’s sanity than my own. I can tell you that coming to the realization that you must give up something that you enjoy sucks. I have given up things: smoking and drugs, but those were negatives. I guess I just have to make running into a vice and use that anger to fuel me getting stronger in things that I can do.
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