I was always trying to get away from my family…

This is my 3rd grade birthday party and the two boys on the ends of the picture are still my really good friends.

This is my 3rd grade birthday party and the two boys on the ends of the picture are still my really good friends.

It is amazing that my life up until recently I was trying to distance myself from family, but they had been programming me all along that it was the most important thing you could ever have in this reality. Damn them for being smarter than me! My parents are some tricky bastards. My parents always had a rule of being at least 2 hours away from their parents and I thought that it meant they did not want to be around them, but again I was wrong. We saw our family on holiday and my two cousins, Bean and Ellen, were always with us on trips and would come to our house during holidays that my Aunt Ledela had to work. Come to think of it we never traveled without seeing or going somewhere with our family. Some of my greatest moments are with my Uncle Doug, we call him UB from the movie Uncle Buck. He took us deep sea fishing, riding motorcycles at a very young age, camping, to the beach, sailing, and many other activities that made my childhood wonderful. Little did I know that my parents were subtly putting it into my head that family was insanely important.

Through the years I moved away from my family almost as far as I could. We did not have much money growing up and my parents were not really explorers, so we did not travel that much. My father did not take me camping, mainly because he was so busy with work he needed his time off to rest and see his family. This was always a complaint of mine, but now that I am adult and have my own kids I see exactly what he had done. The things I did have was 2 parents that loved each one of their children very much. They reproduced and wanted to raise children, it was not about them but us. I now have that same belief with my children. You still need time to yourself, but my main priority resides with my wife and kids. Everything my parents did was to make us truly understand that family was really really f-ed up, but we had them no matter what happened. As everyone can say, “My family is crazy”, but they all are so doesn’t that make us all sane, since crazy is the norm? They trained me to grow up and be there for all my family members no matter what the problem or how far they lived from us. It now rings so true it scares me that I was always trying to run away from it. I thought that those friends I had were all I needed and guess what, I talk to maybe a handful of those friends that I grew up with and now only family remains. They can make you the angriest, but it is because you love them so much and want to see them do what you think is right. It is hard to remember with family that just like the rest of the world they are free to live how they want and you have to accept it. I still battle with that, but am getting much better.

Societies used to have children up to about 2 generations ago because they needed the free labor from their offspring. Now we live in a time where people think of having more than 2 kids as detriment to civilization. I now know that is not my mindset. Being in education my wife and I have seen what the gene pool has produced. The belief that everyone is created equal is a great notion, but the reality is that everyone is born with different biological and intellectual makeup. There are smart people, dumb people, slow people, fast people, lazy people, hard-working people. Be aware that I have met really really smart people who are useless and less intelligent people who work hard and do amazing things, nothing in that list is mutually exclusive. You can have the combination you create. Anything is possible, you just have to find a way to solve that problem and be willing to work to get a solution. I want children because I have realized that my wife is the most amazing person I have ever met and watching her around our children makes me want to have more and more. It is apparent to me that Emily and I can do everything we can to raise them right and they will choose a different path, but we have to be diligent and continue to put them first in our lives. This is where most families are lacking, parents are not putting their children 1st. They have stuff they need to do and with that the children suffer. The same people that are saying we need less reproduction could be the same that are not willing to give up their time to help others. This scares me because although many parents are out their trying their best to raise their children right, according to their beliefs, there are many who cannot be bothered with their own children because they have other things to do.

My family is the most important thing that I have and will always be that way. I hope that Emily and I can impart that onto our children and extended family. They are there from the start and will be there in the end. Without them I would not be the man I am today. All the bat-shit craziness I have seen and caused makes us family. When planning yearly vacations my wife and I are more and more trying to plan stuff with our families and it seems right. They will always be crazy, but they have become crazy, probably because of me, and I will always love them for it.

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