It has been 2 weeks and I am sorry but my brain has been in places that I will hopefully be able to write about in the future, but lately I have been living within each moment and haven’t felt up to the task of reflection. Tonight I was going to go into the happiness that I have been experiencing lately and how it is transforming me into a better person, but as any parent knows things change very rapidly when you have children and if you are not willing to handle the situation and the change you will be beaten to death by those aforementioned children. I do not know if I it will be funny, but it will be real.
The weekend had been good. My father in law came into town and we had a shed built in our back yard. He helped me paint it and get everything situated. I woke up today and walked to church and was enjoying the glimpses of spring. We had shopped for shoes for our boys and then we came home and played outside and decided to cook out with our neighbors. We were eating the grilled burgers and hot dogs and my youngest son takes a fork, do not know if it was intentional or not, and stabbed my oldest son in his eye. He missed and hit him in the check, but there was a weapon and an injury that was very fortunately not too bad for our oldest son. Our youngest son did not fair so well. I have always been worried about how I would react when one of our children did something that was dangerous and could harm someone else with a small part of intent or reckless abandon. Now my oldest son is okay and my youngest is okay also. I was angry, but got it under control very quickly. He stabbed another person in the eye with a fork. I have to still let it set in that this is part of my journey as a parent. I have seen horrible things in this life and many I will never retell to anyone, but now I feel that it has gotten worse because these little creatures are my responsibilities to the world. In the grand scheme of things our youngest, my wife had to remind me, is a pretty good kid. He is wild, stubborn, crazy, huge, and wild, but he is ours and he will always bring a smile to my soul every time that I look at him.
I lived for many years before I had children and thought I was getting a good grasp of the universe. Then you meet a wonderful woman and that person and yourself decide to bring life into this world and you realize that what you thought was up became sideways. What was down came toward you a lot faster than you ever imagined. My two boys amaze me and anger me in the same minute. Fatherhood has made me an exponentially better human being. My boys have showed me that I must experience every emotion why I am on this earth and they are helping greatly. I still have a wonderful family with all their body parts still intact. We will see how long that holds true.